I would love more people to feel more like this person in the photo, and less worn out, beaten down by business, career and life.
I would love more people to worry less about the future and be more satisfied with the present.
If you are a high achiever, you might be scared to take the foot off the accelerator because you think you might miss out on that next opportunity or end up side tracked from where you want to go. You have put in so much effort to get where you are and you want to make it count for something.
I had a phone call with a young women who fit the description above. She had been pushing to get where she wanted to go. After 9 years of study she finally got the great job she wanted, with a great salary. She started work each day at 6.45am and finished at 5.15pm.
Nothing at all is right or wrong with all of that as an outcome in itself.
What was “wrong” however, was that this woman now felt “numb”. She had “arrived” yet was going through the motions and felt very little satisfaction as she went through the day. At night, she had only a desire to sleep. Then, the sleep was disturbed throughout – she was waking up and not being able to get back to sleep, then waking up exhausted.
And she said she would often would get to the end of the day without eating.
When I asked her what she wanted from working together, she said, “I want to feel happy”.
Simple right?
Sounds easy enough…lighten up. Enjoy the moment etc etc.
However, when you have trained you mind to think you must push through, you begin having an inner conflict when you stop for a moment. You don’t want to be “lazy”. You have to get all those other things done so you can then relax and have fun in life. And the list never really gets done, or when you get a break you are exhausted, or have a feeling there is still more to do.
It is an epidemic today – rushing to the next thing to get somewhere better, all with the positive intention of making things better.
You may have heard it before, and it’s so important, it is worth repeating. Happiness is not a destination. It is an emotional state. It can be accessed regardless of your current circumstances in life – even if those are not what you desire.
I told this young woman, that, from the moment we start working together we would not be “striving” or “pushing” for anything. In fact, the polar opposite. We would be creating stillness – a space for connection. In fact, “re-connection” to what was important. Reconnection to self.
If you feel constantly rushed & worn down, I invite you instead to just stop – right now. Your busy mind is in the habit of wanting to move onto the next task. Stop allowing this automatic crazy high performer of a mind to run things. Get your feet back under you – breathe – and then use your mind for your benefit. Come back to the present moment. Come back to you. Come back to one thing at a time. Breathe. Take the pressure off because, at the end of the day, it is usually self-imposed. This is good news, because the one thing you can learn to have influence over is the self.
Stop, breathe, continue.