This post is about a discussion I had during an emotional breakthrough coaching session today.
It was with a senior in high school who was referred to me as she had been feeling anxious and was lacking confidence.
She was actual having suicidal thoughts and was feeling “toxic”. She labelled that way of thinking the “Britney Spears complex…(poor Britney – but that’s another post…lol). She felt a shadow of who she really was and knew she was pushing people away who were trying to help her.
Since our last session, this young woman had set herself a task of asking her father to come and do a gym session with her. Specifically, she was going to ask him to run the session. She had been avoiding this even though she really wanted his support. She had a fear of that she would feel judged. It might sound strange and even irrational to some, but we often create barriers to connecting with others, even family, in our own unique way.
She reported back that she actually ended up asking her father to come to the gym. Her father couldn’t assist her on this occasion as he was unwell, so her big sister stepped in wrote her out a gym program. She said she could see her sister felt this was an important task. She implemented the program, which by her report was hard!
She felt so great about reaching out for support.
After we discussed the initial barrier and what it felt like to reach out for help, her insight was that, not only does reaching out and asking for help support her directly, it made her sister feel important too. Her sister got a sense of satisfaction from helping. This small act of asking for help at the gym brought them closer together.
This young woman was previously too embarrassed and fearful to ask for this simple support.
Is there an area where you could use a hand? You might not be in high school, but are you stopping yourself because you are embarrassed or have a fear of being judged?
Is this person that could help you really likely to judge you and not want to help? It is of course possible, but ask yourself if it is likely.
Who knows, if you reach out, not only might you get the support you need, but you will give the opportunity for someone to feel good by supporting you. This is often the case when managers/leaders delegate well. The personal they delegated the task to can feel a sense of pride and accomplishment for having learnt and achieved something new and for being of value.
Asking for help…a true win-win!
Can you reach out today?